


Funny SPN Stuff

by ChoiHarin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChoiHarin/pseuds/ChoiHarin
Summary: Just funny stuff about SPN...
Kudos: 6





	1. Incorrect SPN Quotes

**Dean:** _80% exhaustion, 10% sarcasm, 20% don't care_

**Sam:** _That's 110%_

 **Dean:** _20% doesn't care_

 **Sam:** _Should've seen that coming_

**Dean:** _Girls are so hot..._

 **Dean:** _...guys are also so hot_

 **Dean:** _Why is everyone so hot???_

 **Sam:** _Global warming_

**Sam:** _*stabbing air between Dean and Castiel with a butter knife*_

**Castiel:** _What are you doing?_

 **Sam:** _Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two_

 **Jack:** _It isn't working, I still feel awkward_

**Castiel:** _Jack, let me tell you about the birds and the bees_

 **Jack:** _No, dad, please don't-_

 **Cas:** _Did you know that there are over 10,000 species of birds_

 **Jack:** _Castiel-_

 **Cas:** _And that the bees are dying at an alarming rate?_

 **Jack:** _..._

 **Cas:** _Get your jacket on, we're going to go save some bees_

**Castiel:** _Dean and I are no longer friends_

 **Dean:** _That's the worst way to tell people we're dating_

**Castiel, to Jack:** _We're not mad, we're just disappointed_

 **Dean:** _No, we're mad_

 **Cas:** _Right, we're mad. Furious. Livid. But we're going to let this one slide_

 **Dean:** _No we're not!_

 **Cas:** _I'm not a mind reader Dean!_

 **Jack:** _..._

**Lucifer:** _It' time for you to die_

 **Castiel:** _Let me ask Dean_

 **Lucifer:** _It's not a choi-_

 **Cas:** _He said no_

**Castiel:** _I'm going to sing you a song that I wrote about my life_

 **Dean:** _*Eye roll* Bloody hell, go on then_

 **Castiel:** _*Inhales deeply*_

 **Dean:** _*Raises an eyebrow*_

 **Castiel:** _*Screams for 3 minutes in various tones*_

 **Dean:** _*Hums and nods* I relate to the lyrics on a spiritual level_


	2. More Incorrect SPN Quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just more incorrect, funny quotes...

**Jack:** _I accidentally scratched Dean's car, how long do you think I'll live?_

 **Castiel:** _Ten_

 **Jack:** _Ten what?_

 **Castiel:** _Nine_

**Dean:** _The rich should get robbed at least once a week_

 **Sam:** _Why?_

 **Dean:** _Builds character_

**Dean:** _Go big or go home_

 **Castiel:** _P_ _l e a s e for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. G o h o me_

 **Dean:** _I'm going big!_

**Dean:** _Music is just wiggling air_

 **Sam:** _Don't do this. Don't do this to me today_

 **Dean:** _And colour is just wiggling light. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk_

 **Castiel:** _Artists and musicians are just magicians of the wiggle_

 **Jack:** _An artists best quality: their wiggles_

**Therapist:** _So Sam thinks you need therapy_

 **Castiel:** _Therapy? No. What I need is a boyfriend who doesn't think killing himself is the solution to every problem but that isn't going to happen_

**Lucifer:** _I'm going to make you regret ever being born_

 **Jack:** _I'll have you know I regret that already_


	3. Quotes From The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some of my favorite quotes from the show

**Dean:** _House rules Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts is cakehole_

**Sam:** _Sammy is a chubby twleve-year-old. It's Sam_

 **Dean:** _Sorry, I can't hear you. The music's to loud!_

**Jack:** _I like nougat_

**Castiel:** _Oh, outside today, in the garden, I followed a honeybee!_

**Castiel:** _An archangel. The one who killed me_

 **Dean:** _Excuse me?_

 **Castiel:** _His name is Raphael_

 **Dean:** _You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?_

**Sam:** _You're bossy_

 **Dean:** _What?_

**Sam:** _You're bossy. And short_

**Dean:** _Are you drunk?_

 **Sam:** _Yeah. So? Stupid_

**Sam:** _Yesterday was Tuesday, but today is Tuesday to_

**Dean:** _That's fake me! This must be fake mine!_

**Sam:** _If there's a key, there has to be a lock_

**Dean:** _Accidents don't just happen accidentally_

**Dean:** _You know who spies on people Cas? Spies_

**Sam:** _It was night, and now it's day_

**Dean:** _I observe with my eyes_

**Sam:** _It's in Greek. Nobody reads Greek_

 **Dean:** _Yeah, except Greeks_

**Dean:** _Try New Mexico, I heard he's on a tortilla_

 **Castiel:** _No, God's not on any flatbread_

**Dean:** _Maybe take a trip upstairs_

 **Castiel:** _To Heaven?_

**Garth:** _Dean, where were you this past year?_

 **Dean:** _I was in Purgatory_

**Dean:** _How's Hell, Crowley?_

 **Crowley:** _Hell's fine_

**Bobby:** _Solid iron...completely coated in salt. 100% ghost proof_

 **Sam:** _You built a panic room?_

 **Bobby:** _I had a weekend off_

 **Dean:** _Bobby..._

 **Bobby:** _What?_

 **Dean:** _You're awesome_

**Crowley:** _Go get 'em tiger_

 **Dean:** _You're not coming?_

 **Crowley:** _Oh no, it's not safe up there. There's demons_

 **Dean:** _Yeah, I get that_

**Dean:** _What do you know about dragons?_

 **Bobby:** _What? Nothing_

 **Dean:** _Seriously_

**Bobby:** _Well, they're not like the Loch Ness monster, Dean. Dragons aren't real_

**Dean:** _Can you make a few calls?_

**Bobby:** _To who?_ _Hogwarts?_

**Dean:** _Cas, are you gonna book a room?_

 **Castiel:** _No, I'll stay here_

 **Dean:** _Okay, we'll have a slumber party and braid Sam's hair...where are you gonna sleep?_

 **Castiel:** _I don't sleep. I'll watch over you_

 **Dean:** _That's not gonna happen!_

**Sam:** _You're four years older than me Dean_

 **Dean:** _Since when?_

 **Sam:** _Since birth!_

**Dean:** _Why should we trust you?_

 **Crowley:** _Good God, don't. Never trust anyone_


End file.
